


Living Nightmare

by floralknight



Category: The Penumbra Podcast
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Blood and Gore, Dark, Fake Character Death, Graphic Description of Corpses, Hallucinations, Hallucinogens, Hurt/Comfort, Non-Consensual Drug Use, Other, symptoms of PTSD mentioned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-18
Updated: 2020-02-18
Packaged: 2021-02-27 20:42:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,339
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22781962
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/floralknight/pseuds/floralknight
Summary: What do you do when your worst fears become your reality? Do you run? Do you scream? Do you hide?Peter Nureyev's fears came to life around him and there was nothing he could do to stop it.
Relationships: Peter Nureyev/Juno Steel
Comments: 12
Kudos: 84





	Living Nightmare

**Author's Note:**

> Please read the tags! Ya'll this one gets pretty dark so if you're not down for that I suggest you click away! I seriously don't want to trigger anyone so if I missed any tags please let me know. And for those of you still reading, I'm sorry!!  
> Also, the perspective does rotate a bit between Nureyev and Juno so I hope that isn't too confusing! To try and keep it understandable I referred to Nureyev as Peter when it was in his point of view and Nureyev when it's in Juno's!

It was supposed to be an easy job, get in, find the drive with the info they needed, and get out before anyone arrived. Said drive was supposed to contain some very important access codes for the curemother and they were supposed to be located in a private lab on Neptune. There was nobody inside and Rita had disabled the security system with ease. Peter, Juno, Vespa, and Jet all stepped inside silently.

Peter turned to the others, “Alright, spread out. There isn’t much ground to cover but even then we still don’t know how long it will take to find this and people will start showing up for work in about three hours.”

“That should be plenty of time,” Vespa nodded and made her way over toward a cluster of desks with computers. Jet did the same, walking over to a desk at the opposite end of the room.

“Are you sure we’re in the clear?” Juno asked, “It seems pretty easy when we are looking for something so important.”

“And you’re complaining?” Peter raised an eyebrow, “We’ve gone over every piece of information on the staff and security measures. They fully automated their system a few months ago and don’t have any security guards employed. We’re fine, Juno, I promise.”

“Okay,” Juno said hesitantly before going over to another section of the lab.

Peter did the same, walking to the back right corner of the room where a monitor was mounted on the wall. He checked it over, turning it on and scanning the information on it. It seemed to be connected to the small room next to it. There was a window looking into the room but he walked in anyway, wanting to double-check for clues. The room ended up being empty, but when Peter went to leave the room he found that the door was locked.

Suddenly, a hissing noise began and some kind of white fog began flowing out of the vents on the floor. Peter immediately covered his mouth, but as the gas made its way through the room it quickly overwhelmed him. Coughs began forcing their way out of him. Soon he found himself bent over and barely able to breathe as the hacking wracked his body. Distantly, he thought he could hear someone pounding on something nearby but it faded away with the coughing. When it had completely subsided and Peter was able to stand upright again, he turned toward where he had heard the sound only for him to freeze as his blood ran cold.

Juno was laying in the middle of the room, covered in cuts and bruises with a puddle of blood spreading out from underneath him. Peter rushed to the detective’s side and dropped to his knees, “Juno? What- what happened?”

“There’s no time-” Juno gasped out, blood flowing from his lips. God, there was _so much blood_ , “You- you have to go. They’re coming.”

“Juno- what? Who?” Peter asked, confused but his mind was to busy focusing on the shape Juno was in to really put much thought into the detective’s words. He began putting pressure on the gash at Juno’s side. His voice cracked as he called out to Vespa and Jet for help before turning back to Juno, “It’s- it’s going to be fine Juno. Just stay with me. We can get you patched up and- and you’ll be just fine.”

“It’s too late,” Juno whispered out. Suddenly a slit formed along his throat as if an invisible knife was cutting him. Juno’s expression filled with panic as he began choking, even more blood bubbling out from between his lips. Distantly Peter could hear someone screaming and only when he felt his throat burn did he realize it was him making that sound. The detective twitched in his arms for several long seconds until finally, he stilled completely. His face was frozen, twisted in agony as his glassy eye stared up at Peter. The thief let out an anguished cry, shouting and sobbing. He didn’t care who could hear him, he had just lost the love of his life. The image of Juno’s throat splitting open replayed in his mind over and over again. He trembled, rocking back and forth as he cradled Juno’s body in his arms.

“Juno! You can’t just leave me like this!” He yelled desperately at the corpse, “I can’t do this without you! Not again!”

Juno didn’t answer. He didn’t move, only stared with an eye so lifeless it could have been a marble inside a toy.

* * *

Juno’s investigation of a row of cabinets along the wall was interrupted by the muffled sound of coughing coming from a nearby room. He glanced through the window to see Nureyev bent over in a coughing fit with some kind of white fog filling the room. Juno called Jet and Vespa over as he dashed to open the door only to find it locked. Banging on the window Juno tried and failed to get the thief’s attention, “Ransom!”

“We need to get him out of there,” Jet pointed to the computer mounted to the wall next to the window, “Vespa, see if you can figure out what the gas is and try to stop it. Juno, watch him. I’ll call Buddy to give her an update and see what Rita can do.”

Juno kept an eye on Nureyev while the others did their jobs. When he finally stopped hacking Juno tried again to get his attention, but for some reason, he had no luck. He wasn’t sure why. The glass was definitely thick but not thick enough to be soundproof. Peter turned around toward Juno and Juno waved, but Peter didn’t seem to see him. The thief’s face suddenly became distraught, as if looking at something upsetting, before racing to the other side of the room and dropping to his knees.

“Uh, guys? You find anything?” Juno asked, wide-eyed as he watched the scene before him. Nureyev looked like he was talking, but Juno couldn’t make out the words. Tears began rolling down Nureyev’s face and the detective became even more worried.

“I just did,” Vespa told him as she scanned the document on the monitor, “It’s a testing chamber. They’ve been illegally creating chemical weapons. This one is a hallucinogen and it’s-”

She was suddenly interrupted when Nureyev began screaming. Juno felt himself recoil at the pain-filled noise, “Goddammit! What the hell is going on?”

“This gas was specifically created to target the victim’s worst fear and use against them,” Vespa explained as she continued looking over the information displayed, “It won’t kill him, just make him wish he was dead.”

“Thanks that makes me feel so much better,” Juno rolled his eye, “Is there any way to stop it? An antidote or something?”

Vespa typed a search into the computer before shaking her head, “It’s just going to have to run its course.”

“We have to get him out of there and back to the ship,” Juno’s gut twisted at the sight of Nureyev losing his mind all by himself. He was rocking and wailing, arms arranged as if he was holding something. Juno tried to get his attention again, pounding on the window and yelling his name, but Nureyev didn’t even look up.

“I don’t think you’re going to be able to reach him,” Jet told him, “Rita is trying to find a way to shut off the gas and open the door. For now, we’ll just have to wait.”

It only took another fifteen minutes for them to get the door open but it felt like an eternity to Juno. He his heart broke just a little more with every scream and sob that escaped Nureyev’s mouth. He wanted nothing more than to pull the thief into his arms and out of whatever nightmare he was experiencing.

As soon as Juno heard the click of the door unlocking he ran into the room and toward Nureyev, “Peter!”

Nureyev looked up and his expression morphed into anger. He whipped out a knife and pointed it at the detective with a trembling hand, “You stay back!”

“Peter, it’s me, Juno,” Juno spoke calmly. He went to continue but Nureyev interrupted.

“Liar! Juno’s gone! He’s dead and you killed him!” Nureyev’s voice cracked. He gestured down to where his arm was positioned awkwardly as if holding something, “Look what you did to him!”

Everything clicked into place then, Nureyev thought Juno was dead and he thought they were the killers. Vespa slid into the room behind them while Juno kept him distracted and, with a quick maneuver, disarmed the thief. Nureyev let out a snarl and reached out toward her when Jet swept in and grabbed his hands.

Nureyev began to panic then, “No! You can’t do this!” When Jet secured his hands and picked him up he began to wail, “No! I can’t leave him! You can’t take me away from him!”

It hurt Juno to see all that rage in Nureyev’s eyes directed at him. He had never seen him as angry as he was right then. The sight of him so scared and enraged and tied up terrified Juno. Whatever was in that gas had taken away all of Nureyev’s self-control and had left him with just pieces of himself as he witnessed whatever nightmares it fed him. As soon as they were done securing Nureyev, they began their journey back to the Carte Blanche.

* * *

No, no, _no_ . They had Peter tied up with no way of escape and they were taking him back to whatever base they had. He was trembling with rage and fear. They killed Juno. They _killed_ him and they had come back for him. There were three of them, dressed in all black with blurred faces that he couldn’t make out. They had disarmed him and restrained him and they were going to take him away from Juno.

Peter tried desperately to escape. He screeched curses at the trio as he tried to pull from their grasp. The tall one had thrown him over their shoulder and they were making their way out of the room. Peter howled in protest, squirming and kicking furiously. All he could do in the end, though, was get one last look at Juno and his lifeless face as they left the lab. He didn’t know where the faceless killers were taking him but he couldn’t let them just get what they wanted, not after what they did to Juno. He fought against the person holding him for what felt like forever, muscles aching with overexertion as he pounded on their back and moved around violently. The world was a blur around him and he couldn’t focus on anything but the need to just _get away_.

Peter wasn’t sure how long he struggled or where he was, but the trio of faceless killers suddenly stopped walking. They were inside somewhere and two more people had appeared. They were talking but he couldn’t make out what they were saying. After a while they stopped talking and Peter was carried into another room. The tall person set him down on the ground and untied his hands before walking to the door. Peter tried to follow, but his movements were sluggish after all the struggling he had done. The door shut and locked behind the tall person and Peter was alone, or at least he thought he was. That idea disappeared when he turned around, heart jumping into his throat as he took in the scene around him.

Peter was surrounded by corpses, at least a dozen of them. Each face he recognized as a body he had left behind. The faces of two evil billionaires he had shot before making off with their bank account numbers. The mangled bodies of the security guards he had crushed with the Ruby 7. The crumpled form of the child he had held in Brahma after she had been hit by a car, comforting her until her eyes finally shut for good. Several others all people he had seen die. Rita, Buddy, Vespa, and Jet were against the wall, each sporting various injuries. Finally, in the center of the room were Mag and Juno. Juno looked just like he had in the lab, covered in blood with a terrified expression on his face. Mag, too, looked just like he had when Peter had last seen him, sprawled on the ground with a deep stab wound in his stomach. Every single one of the corpses was facing Peter. So many dead eyes staring into his soul, it was too much.

Peter let out a scream and ran for the door, pounding on it, “Let me out! Please, god, I can’t stay in here with them! Don’t do this to me, I’m begging you!”

* * *

Seconds after Jet shut the door to the med bay Nureyev began pounding on the door, begging to be let out. He sounded like there was something in there with him. Hearing Nureyev sound like that made Juno feel like he was going to be sick. The detective turned to Buddy, “We can’t just leave him alone in there like that.”

“You saw how he was acting around us,” Vespa grumbled, “He thinks we are all enemies. As soon as one of us steps in there he’ll get violent.”

“What about moving him to a different room? Maybe it wouldn’t be as bad for him,” Juno suggested.

“I dunno about that Mister Steel,” Rita spoke from her spot next to him. She put a comforting hand on his shoulder, “That’s the only room with a camera in it. Plus we would have to empty whatever room we use out completely like we did this one.”

“Do we have any sedatives on hand?” He asked.

“No. We don’t just keep sedatives around, Steel. This isn’t a fucking hospital,” Vespa told him with a roll of her eyes.

“Well, we can’t just sit here while he loses his goddamn mind locked in a room by himself!” Juno snapped, “There has to be something we can do.”

“I’m afraid there isn’t, Juno,” Buddy wrapped an arm around him, “None of us like the idea, but we are just going to have to wait it out. Hopefully, he’ll get tired eventually and sleep it off.”

Juno was out of arguments. He sighed, “Well then I’ll keep watch. I am _not_ leaving him like this.”

“That’s fine. Just don’t go in there until he’s either asleep or the drug has left his system,” Buddy instructed.

Juno nodded and they all separated. Jet and Vespa had to go back and finish their search while Buddy and Rita monitored their progress. Juno kept his eyes glued to the monitor, not looking away no matter how much the sight pained him. He felt so helpless, stuck watching his boyfriend be scared out of his mind. Juno wanted nothing more than to bust into the room and tell Nureyev that everything was going to be okay, that it wasn’t real and Juno was fine.

The two hours that passed after that felt like years. Juno kept watch as Nureyev’s movements got slower and his begging got quieter. At one point he said he would rather die than spend another second in that room and that was what broke Juno. The detective sobbed, the pain gripping his heart like a vice. Just when he thought he couldn’t take anymore, Nureyev finally slumped over, passed out from exhaustion. Relief swept over Juno. Finally, Nureyev’s torment was over, or at least Juno hoped that would be it. He opened the door and picked Nureyev up, pressing a gentle kiss to his forehead as he walked down to their room.

* * *

Peter faded in and out of sleep, occasionally catching snippets of conversations he couldn’t make out before succumbing back to his exhaustion. He had no idea how long he had been out when he finally woke up. As he regained consciousness, the memories from before returned and he began trembling. He kept his eyes screwed shut, terrified of seeing all those eyes again, of seeing Juno’s lifeless body again. Tears seeped down his face as he curled into a ball, head buried in his knees. His muscles and eyes burned and his throat felt raw and his head hurt and he was still _so_ tired.

A hand touched his back and Peter flinched. Then there was a voice he never thought he’d hear again, “Nureyev. It’s me, Juno.”

The thief hesitantly opened his eyes and blinked away the tears before staring wide-eyed at Juno sitting in a chair next to the bed he was in. Peter shook his head, throat raw and voice barely a whisper as he spoke, “This isn’t real. Juno’s- Juno’s- I saw-”

“This is real, Nureyev. Here,” Juno pulled Peter’s hand up and pressed it against his throat. Peter felt the thump of a pulse and the vibration of the detective’s voice as he continued, “You were drugged. All of those horrible things _weren’t_ real, just hallucinations.”

“Promise?” Peter felt childish asking that, but he still wasn’t sure he believed it.

“Yes, I promise. This is real,” Juno gave him a tearful smile. He stood from his seat and sat on the bed, wrapping his arms around the thief, “I’m here and you’re safe. We’re all safe.”

With that confirmation, Peter broke. He sobbed into Juno’s shoulder while the detective strokes his hair gently. He was still shaking as when he finally pulled away from where he had buried his face in Juno’s shoulder, “I- I- Juno- I thought-” Another sob tore its way from his throat, “Juno, I was so scared.”

“I know,” Juno kept his voice soft as he spoke, “I’m so sorry you had to go through that alone. I would have done anything to make it stop.”

Peter didn’t say anything else after that. He held on to Juno tightly, only loosening his grip long enough for the detective to get situated in the bed with him. He didn’t let go for hours. Buddy came by to check on them and give them an update on how the rest of the mission went. Jet and Vespa managed to recover the drive and they _might_ _have_ set off a bomb in the lab while Rita ‘accidentally’ wiped the lab’s entire database of all of their projects. Peter was relieved to hear that that gas wouldn’t be put out into the world.

Peter spent most of the next few days not letting Juno out of his sight, as if doing that would shatter this reality. The detective kept him grounded, a firm reminder that everything was okay. Even with that reminder, it took Peter about a week to finally fully understand that this really was real, that he wasn’t going to wake up from this and find himself back in that nightmare world. He recovered slowly over the next few weeks. There were several times where Petter would begin shaking and his eyes would gain a faraway look as he relived those terrifying visions. Each time Juno was there to pull him back, reassuring him that they were safe. He was never fully the same after that day, but he did improve with time. There were also still nights where the smell of blood and the feeling of glassy eyes watching him wormed their way into his dreams, but every time Juno was there to wake him up and help bring him back. On those nights Peter would lay his head against Juno’s chest, pressing his ear against it to hear the detective’s heartbeat. He found himself doing things like that often, putting his fingers on Juno’s pulse points to calm himself and remind himself that everything was okay. Juno didn’t seem to mind, instead, he would give Peter easier access by tilting his head or holding his wrist at a better angle. Eventually, Peter did believe Juno’s words. They were safe and everything was going to be okay.

**Author's Note:**

> If you made it this far then congratulations!! I seriously have no idea what got into me but as I was writing this my brain would be like, "Wouldn't it be fun if *insert fucked up thing* happened? :D" and I'd just be like, "Uh okay yeah that'd probably be fun to write."
> 
> Also a huge thank you to the tpp discord for giving me this idea and helping me come up with a lot of concepts for it! It was way too much fun throwing around ideas and seeing who could come up with the worst ones. Y'all they were so encouraging and fun to talk with about it, I've never written a fic this quickly but they got me really excited about it! :"D
> 
> Tbh I was a little worried about keeping Peter's characterization accurate but I did take some liberties considering he had been dosed with mind-altering drugs, I hope it still reads well! I also hope those of you that stuck around enjoyed this! It was really interesting kinda just exploring this kinda concept and finding ways to bring it to life ya know.
> 
> As always comments and kudos are appreciated! You can find me on [my twitter](https://twitter.com/lovelynakahara?s=09), [my tumblr](https://lovelynakahara.tumblr.com/) and [my podcast tumblr](https://lovelyblupjeans.tumblr.com/)!!


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